Excelsior, fellow book lovers!
Sometimes I wonder why my books haven't asked for my parents' blessings yet.
You don't need to know who I am. Only that I like things. Like books. I am also a bookseller, which is why my hands are so dry to the point of them peeling off like snake-skin.
This blog is meant to be as ridiculous and funny as it is serious. I love books, reviewing them, discussing them, and analyzing them, but I'm also a fan of awesome things that make me laugh.
This does not include cheesy romantic comedies or lemon-flavoured candies. These are neither laugh-worthy (usually) or awesomely yummy (ick).
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Book-fortified wall for the back counter. It’s like a castle wall with a tower!
…and yes, that is someone’s little hand adjusting the wall. :D
#book #fort #castle #wall #eye #of #sauron #teen #young #adult #art #fun #towers #reading #literature #literacy #kids #bookstore #bookseller #shelving #hunger #games #harry #potter #dystopia #post-apocalyptic #johngreen #dftba #randomhouseThis was possibly the shortest, fastest and most engaging sequel I’ve read in ages. Infuriatingly so. At first I was a little lost, because clearly a year between translations was not good for my memory. But after a couple of chapters I recalled, somewhat, the happenings of the last book.
The last book was good, but a set up for some goddamn twisty time-travelling conspiracy shit. And I must say…geronimo!
I love this because the characters are all very independent of each other despite being so intertwined. And I don’t simply mean their personalities, which is definitely part of it. I mostly mean that they do things you hate, love or are indifferent about and it doesn’t matter because they are who they are. These characters do not play for the audience, but for themselves. It’s kinda magical, except I’ve been gritting my teeth for two hours straight. :|
Despite the few obvious copyediting misses/typos, this story is superbly translated. I think even the humour translated over properly. :) I do warn readers that Sapphire Blue is an extremely quick read and hard to put down once you get into it. Something strange happens EVERY chapters, which causes you to cast doubts on your preconceived notions about various characters. This Gideon is a jerk. No, he isn’t. He’s allowed to have bad days. The Count is evil…or IS HE?
And what’s up with Paul and Lucy? Whose side are they on anyway?
And yes, many of these dated characters they visit are absurdly sexist (and Gwen is rightly furious, but not entirely reckless to risk exposing herself), but Gier presents this sexism in a way that makes me question today’s version of “equality” and if it really lives up to its label (my answer will always resolutely be no).
“Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors.” — Evelyn Cunningham
So a long time ago in a galaxy of shitty university times, I was studying science education and pretty much had resigned myself to become a math or science teacher (if not an archaeologist). But no longer! Anyway, in my editing course we’ve been looking at the Flesch-Kincaid readability scoring system for passages/books. I used to use this on every freaking thing I could lay my eyes on. It was brilliant. It’s not the most accurate equation for adult fiction, especially if the work has run-on sentences or falls under the genre of “chick-lit”. In any case, I decided I wanted to use it for the rest of my book reviews from this point on—allons-y!
Here is the formula:
0.39*(number of words/number of sentences) + 11.8*(number of syllables/number of words) — 15.59 = readability score, as a grade level
number of words/number of sentences is the Average Sentence Length (ASL): I usually choose about three to five sentences and do a word count for those. I do this three or four times before I’m satisfied by a mode number. I do not average out the numbers.
number of syllables/number of words is the Average Syllables per Word (ASW): I choose about two sentences for this, especially if they are excessively lengthy. I like keep it around 20-35 words. Keep in mind, you could even just use two and a half sentences or something. You’re counting words here, not sentences. I also take three or four of these calculations before I find an appropriate mode I can use.
Also, before trying this at home, please remember your BEDMAS/PEMDAS rules. Brackets/Parentheses, Exponents, Division, Multiplication, Addition, Subtraction.
As an example, here are my calculations for Fifty Shades of Grey, based on various passages throughout the book.
0.39*14 + 11.8*1.3 = 5.21
So what does this mean? Simply put, the reading score for Fifty Shades of Grey is at a grade five reading level. This puts it on par with books such as The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan or Coraline by Neil Gaiman. It is important to note that the F-K score does not account for content and stylistic details of a book. While E.L. James’s masterpiece may be of a simplistic reading level, it is certainly not suitable for those of that level.
I have many calculations for middle school books that are actually at a level much higher than FSoG, but let’s not get into that…today.
Instead, please waste your time on this extensive review of FSoG.
Adieu.
#5 #anti-feminist #books #caveman #fifty #five #flesch #fuckyeah #goodreads #grade #grey #intelligence #kincaid #lacking #level #literacy #middle #obtuse #of #offensive #on #poor #readability #reviews #school #sex #shades #simple #whatever #writingIt’s gotten to the point where I just suggest things in place of what they are looking for if there is no description for the book, other than “it’s THIS big and has a girl on the cover”. Sometimes I try to convince them I found the book they are looking for. lol
I tell this to every customer’s kid. :D
(Source: claroswald, via chrishowardbooks)
#love #to #read #literacy #reading #booksI just realized this after watching the Wide Awake MV. Every single KP music video could be some sort of mash-up of scenes from a teen book.
1. I Kissed a Girl: A coming of age story about Katy figuring out who she is and what she wants in life. She has the perfect guy, is popular and things appear to be in Katy’s favour. Her life flips on itself when she finds herself attracted to a girl her age, at her school. One thing leads to another and Katy finds herself confused and the victim of her own confused feelings. After befriending this new girl, Katy can’t stop thinking about her cherry chaptstick and the kisses they shared. She realizes she doesn’t care about this new girl as much as she thought and breaks it off.
The new girl won’t have any of that. Katy’s innocent sexual explorations turns into a nightmare when she finds herself being blackmailed…okay, so I’m getting carried away with the story.In the end, our teen heroine wakes up and discovers it is all a dream.
2. Ur So Gay: Clearly a comedic story about a girl insta-loving this hipster dude from her school. Only to discover he has no penis, apparently.
3. Teenage Dream: Summer fling story about a girl visiting her family in the deep, deep suburbs. Meets friends of the family with a son her age. Bit of a bad boy. Drive off to a local beach. Sex ensues afterwards. Fast forward two months—they never see each other again.
4. California Gurls: Apparently California teens are always drinking and possibly on LSD. Everyday life to young Katy is like walking through Candyland. I suspect this ends up being a rehab story after the MV.
5. Waking Up in Vegas: Newly graduated and seeing the same guy since the beginning of high school, this teen couple pack their bags for the summer, grab their fake IDs and head over to Vegas. One loss after another win after another loss leads to drunken madness and a spiraling of morals. Confused about what they want to do with their lives, and figuring out how they’ll cope at two different colleges after the summer, the couple get married by Elvis Priestly. Their luck seems to turn for the better and they are rolling in dough for the better part of this obviously disastrous trip. The last few days of their trip is when luck seems to give them a good kick in the ass, especially noticeable after having a huge fight in their fancy new hotel room. They end up poor again and out on the streets. In a last ditch effort to see through to the end of their gambling adventures in Vegas, Katy’s beau plays slots with their last quarter at a Laundromat. They win (again).
6. Thinking of You: This would be slight historical teen fiction. Typical girl meets (gorgeous) boy and boy and girl fall in love. They feel like they could spend the rest of their lives together. Boy goes off to fight in war and dies. Girl is left heartbroken and utterly alone. Girl ends up with some douche (I only say this because while he seems like actually a decent guy, he clearly knows she loves someone else more even though he is dead and yet puts himself and and her through such misery by pretending otherwise) she doesn’t even like all that much. I bet she cries after sex. Boy comes back as ghost and haunts girl. Yeah, I totally made this into a paranormal teen story.
7. E.T.: Similar to Wall-E, this story appears to take place on remnants of Earth, in the midst of “junk”. Apparently this is after the human population has been mostly wiped out. An alien enters the solar system and through its telepathic what-nots is able to determine the history of the Earth. I think it takes the “form” of Earthly species (a hybrid) and falls in love with this kind of life. She approaches some astronaut suit-machine contraption and releases whatever is inside. Possibly the last human, and by the looks of it he’s albino. A cross-species love story.
8. Firework: Katy is like a more sparkly and larger version of Tinkerbell. A fairy doomed to the mortal world. In times of empathy or the nearness to a human in need, Katy sparks from her chest. It’s kind of inconvenient and often her clothes shrivel and burn up. She’s never really worn the same outfit twice. Katy goes around some European city helping the children and teens that live there; making their own sparks light up. Similar to Sailor Moon and the crystals found in people of value or the potential slayer bit in Buffy, Katy is encountering potential fairy-things. Perhaps even finding someone so grateful for learning the value of self-respect that they will replace Katy and she can be free to go home again. They proceed to dance in the cobbled square of some pretty nice ass building.
9. Hot ‘N Cold: This could possibly also be a really weird Sophie Kinsella type story. So I’m not sure if this was something he dreamed up happening out of revenge for leaving the bride hanging, or if this could count as some sort of weird sci-fi teen where Katy travels into Alexander’s daydreams and makes him understand that she is fucking nuts. But basically at some point, girls encounter a hot ‘n cold guy and this is the story of that. Teen-ified.
10. Part of Me: This is apparently the modern day story of Mulan, but starring Katy and her cheating, no-good ex. The ex-bf’s deceit led her to the decision of proving herself and representing her gender, apparently. I’m not sure if I’m offended she only decided to join the Marines after breaking up with the douche. A young girl trying to make her mark in the world and do her part for herself, realizing no man is worth your life. I think this is also about the War on Men, post breakup.
11. Last Friday Night: Kinda reminds me of Ferris Bueller but all at once, at one party. I’m pretty sure I’ve read like twenty teen books with these sorts of parties, where there’s that one girl that doesn’t wanna be there. In this case, it’s the host. But her friend, Rebecca Black, makes her get her party on by transforming her into a fucking unicorn of mares (via What Not to Wear style make over), while the entire Glee cast causes havoc in her house. Also, apparently this is at a time when streamers were still cool at parties. Also silly string. Love that shit. Also the pics go on FB or MySpace or someshit even though they are possibly from the 80s. But then they have a large screen TV and a Wii. WTF. I think the large brace contraption plus 80s style outfits are throwing me off. Also Hanson appears to be cool in this video, so then I thought it might be the 90s.
12. The One that Got Away: Clearly about a time-travelling woman who cannot seem to prevent her b/f, from the time she went back to, from dying. Eventually she gives up trying to keep him alive when his is killed by a random rock on the middle of the road. A pretty fucking huge rock. Final Destination-type fate is fiddling with their lives more than she can fiddle with it to end up with the one she truly loves. She settles for the man she thinks of as second best. Possibly the same guy from Thinking of You. Damn. This one is least like teen because it’s about an old woman and I had to make up that whole time-travelling part. It’s no Tempest (by Julie Cross), that’s for sure.
13. Wide Awake: A very Labyrinth-type MV, but instead of Jennifer Connolly we have teen-fantasy-cover-esque Katy Perry to do the job (she even has a cloak). So, I suspect, she’s not actually “wide awake” in this sequence of events. It appears to be a daydream between sets. Also, she is stupid enough to bite into a strawberry in a strange, unfamiliar place that has aspects of Stephen King’s The Shining. Anyway, so Katy is trapped in a labyrinth, but unlike the movie with the same name, she does not have the aid of sympathizing creatures nor, apparently, the motivation to save her younger sibling. Then, realizing this scene looks familiar, Katy pulls one of her Fireworks from her chest and aims it into the sky, much like in the last task of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I guess she’s calling for help. The maze opens to a young girl with freaky eyes, somewhat resembling Katy. She and the girl head into this maze labyrinth instead and break through, trying to get free of this scary place in their heads (because by now you’ve figured out they are one and the same). Katy and mini Katy are now breaking out of a psychiatric ward. Katy is freaking out in a wheelchair while mini Katy butts head against TWO Minotaurs, which wakes comatose Katy. They run out of the maze into some sort of courtyard garden where a prince pretends to be her knight in shining armor, but crosses his fingers behind his back. Katy doesn’t need saving so she punches the shit out of him which breaks through the wall of the maze. They find the exit of the maze and mini Katy takes off on her bike into her past life and what have you. Katy wakes from her reverie before a concert and realizes she really did meet her past self in a freaking labyrinth (because the butterfly mini Katy gave her appears in her hands IRL). Typical teen.
Sometimes these are the things I think about on my nights off. It’s pretty damn sad…but fun!
#teen #books #ya #young #adult #reading #read #literacy #bored #this #is #what #i #do #awkward #fuckyeah #part #of #me #katy #perry #teenage #dream #the #one #that #got #away #last #fridaySo every August/September one of my favourite publishing houses hosts its fall preview of upcoming releases for booksellers. We usually win stuff and get care packages and stuff, so I’m always pumped to go. There are MANY non-fiction highlights this year, but I’m just gonna go over the stuff that had me ready to maul the speakers because I knew they had ARCs somewhere.
The Emperor of Paris by C. S. (Scott) Richardson; well known for his day job, which is designing the covers of books for this company. Falls under fiction and should already be on the shelves. Story involves a romance between a disfigured art restorer and an illiterate Parisian baker. No, he did not design his own cover art. :)
The Kill Order by James Dashner; prequel to The Maze Runner trilogy. For teens 12+ and already on the shelves. This is not how the Glade was created so much the fall of civilization.
The Malice of Fortune by Michael Ennis; historical thriller. Falls under fiction and will be out in stores by September 11th, 2012. Two main characters are Da Vinci and Machiavelli. Before Sherlock there was Da Vinci, apparently.
Crusher by Niall Leonard; not everyone knows that he is married to E. L. James (author of Fifty Shades of Grey). Falls under the category of young adult (13+) and will be out September 11th, 2012. This is an action-packed thriller involving a boy who must find his father’s murderer before he can be framed for it.
Joseph Anton by Salman Rushdie; Joseph alludes to Joseph Conrad and Anton alludes to Anton Chekhov (Rushdie’s two favourite authors). This is a strictly embargoed title and will definitely not be released earlier than September 18th, 2012 (unless those asshats at Wal-Mart continue to screw the rest of us up by releasing two days early). This is a memoir of Rushdie’s time after the release of The Satanic Verses and he was sentenced to death by Ayatollah Khomeini for Rushdie’s blasphemy against Islam. The movie Midnight’s Children, adapted by Deepa Mehta (Water), will also be released this fall.
The Black Count by Tom Reiss; recommended as a great book for Erik Larson fans! This true history of the father of Alexander Dumas, will be released September 18th, 2012. Dumas’ Count of Monte Cristo is brought to life in this historical narrative about the man that overcame betrayal and rose to power. Or as one of the host’s put it: “he loooooooved many women”.
The Rebel Heart by Moira Young; second of the Dustlands trilogy. This is set to be released on September 25th, 2012, but so help me if that shipment comes in early, I am ripping into that goddamn box. This is a young adult, post-apocalyptic (with a western feel) novel. This story continues after Saba recues her brother Lugh.
Shadows by Ilsa J. Bick; second of the Ashes trilogy. This will also be released September 25th, 2012, thereby securing my no-sleep policy in the face of obstacles. Many have called it a mash-up between The Hunger Games and World War Z; not sure I entirely agree though (yet).
The Paladin Prophecy by Mark Frost; co-creator of Twin Peaks. This is a 14+ young adult novel that combines mystery and the supernatural, to be released on September 25th, 2012. Apparently it’s about an above-average intelligence teen that is told by his parents, out of protection, to try to be average in school. He slips up on one lil’ test and his ‘rents got scared. And said, “You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.”
…and then chaos ensues when the government gets involved.
A Nation Worth Ranting About by Rick Mercer; apparently he has a book out. So this was one of our guest speakers and he was pretty freaking hilarious. Apparently this is a beautiful compilation of rants about Canada. And stuff. Will be released Septemeber 18th, 2012.
The Wisdom of Psychopaths by Kevin Dutton; I just like that there’s an owl on the cover and that the tagline groups “saints, spies, serial killers” together. A book about how to succeed if we’re psychopaths or something. Or learning from psychopaths.
The Bridge by Jane Higgins is a new young adult dystopian novel about the gated community and the shit that goes down in it.Coming out October 9th, 2012. I wasn’t paying attention, so I’m fuzzy whether it was about a bombing at a high school and the protagonist finds himself having to save everyone and shit or if there’s something about a troll under the bridge. Whatever.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (graphic novel) by Stieg Larsson; six volumes to be released for the entire trilogy. The first volume will be released on November 13th, 2012 and the second will be available in late spring 2013. This should be fun and also disturbing.
And that is all. :) I’ll probably be getting some of these in my care package, as well as some other great stuff I was too lazy/unexcited to mention.
#ya #young #adult #preview #fall #books #bookseller #publisher #publishing #house #hosts #introduce #reading #read #literacy #promoting #sales #fun #booklover #heaven #goodreads #fresh #prince #of #bel #air #belair #will #smithI know what I’m doing that week!
List of Banned/Challenged Classics
Frequently Challenged Authors of Colour
100 Most Frequently Challenged Books 1990-1999
100 Most Frequently Challenged Books 2000-2009
Top Ten Challenged Books By Year (2001-2011)
The ones I see the most on these lists (four times or more):
The Chocolate War (7/10), The Perks of Being a Wallflower (4/10), Alice series (5/10).
At least there is only one more book until it’s finally over.
Author: Clare, Cassandra
Title: City of Lost Souls
Keywords: Werewolves, wizards, murder, best friends, vampires, teen, depressing, ghosts, demons, powers, assault, evil family members.
Recommended For: 14+
Rating: 
Sentence: I sentence Cassandra Clare to a completely new series in which she can finally move on with her life…or career. I like you Cassie, but goddamn it, I want something new. If I see anymore of this Mortal Instruments/Infernal Devices nonsense after both series’ are over, I’m running in the opposite direction.
Review: It took me about 100 pages to actually get into this book. While I loved Clare expanding beyond Clary’s POV, I could have done without Jordan and Maya or whatever their names are.
I did, however, find myself completely immersed in Alec and Magnus. Alec finally is beefing up with his own, surprisingly insecure personality. The little bouts of jealousy combined with desperation at getting a handle on Magnus, who he feels is too beyond his reach, endears him to me.
I just wanna pat him on the back and be that understanding friend that could possibly advise him against most stupid mistakes.
Anyway, while I was a little indifferent about the whole Clary and Jace situation, I found a total opposite reaction to the Clary-Seb situ.
I am hoping for a complete re-hash and appropriate reaction to this whole abusive, sexually-assaulting brother business. I know a lot of readers were iffy about it, but I liked that it was real, sick, twisted and dark. Sexual assault occurs much more often than people realize and I think that teen fiction needs more discussion of it. It needs to be addressed rather than avoided and perhaps even dealt with (appropriately and inappropriately) within books. As Clare said in the piece she wrote on her website/blog, just because there is abuse in books, does not mean that the authors of such works promote violence and rape. Writing is a form of storytelling and stories are an escape and sometimes a fantastical metaphor used to deal with real life issues.
Maybe I am taking this whole thing much too seriously, but books like Speak and The Perks of Being a Wallflower are relatable for a reason; they don’t try to pretend the darker aspects of young adult life do not exist or are uncommon.
If teens were left to read happy and sappy romances, happily-ever-after scenarios and non-violent versions of everything perhaps their expectations would be set a little too high and their interest in reading diminished. Teens are angsty, over-dramatic creatures.
Alright, so I sort of went off on a tangent, but my point is that City of Lost Souls is great in that sense. It made me weep, the fight scenes were decent for once (Clary uses some quick thinking, which was an excellent change) and you feel for the characters you don’t really think you like (Sebastian, Maya, etc.)
My only points of issue with this book were:
-Maya and Jordan; who really cares?
-Simon loves Iz, but he is way too attached to Clary still. I don’t trust that shit.
-Magnus must realize how tough it is for Alec. He is oddly unforgiving for someone who has hundreds of years of experience versus the kid that is dating a guy for the first time.
-Why does Sebastian always miraculously get away? I feel like I’m watching Scooby Doo but Sebastian is Shaggy surrounded by a dozen monsters with only one door out and he accidentally trips into Fred’s trap which slingshots him out of a random skylight I didn’t notice before.
Anyway, I highly recommend reading this book, even if you hated the last one. In fact, pretend the last one didn’t happen and enjoy this book as it is. Not as great as the original trilogy, but worth checking out.
#scooby #doo #shaggy #sebastian #cassandra #clare #city #of #lost #souls #book #books #reading #trial #video #muchmusic #literacy
